Oct 28, 2015

The Last 48 Before the Next Adventure

This morning I woke up, stripped the bed, and debated about whether or not to keep my duvet cover. I ended up putting in a box along with a few last odds and ends. According to the confirmation call I got yesterday, The Salvation Army is arriving whenever they damn well please today. So, in the meantime, I'm sitting, and waiting, and thinking among all of the cardboard boxes and bags.

This is my last two days in Chicago. In 48 hours, I'll be on the road back to Bama and a whole new adventure. I have no idea what is going to happen after getting in the car on Friday morning. Everything after that moment is totally up in the air. Which is terrifying. And exciting. But really, really scary. Here's what I do know. I'm going to drive through the day and night on Friday to make it to my parents' house. I'm going to probably hand out candy to kiddos in cute costumes on Saturday for Halloween, and on Sunday...on Sunday, I start work. 

Yep. I start work on Sunday.

Full-time baking- just like I'd hoped. And, not only that, but it's at the bakery where I wanted to work. Continental Bakery and Chez Lulu, the best in town. 

I should be thrilled. I should be excited. But, today, with just 2 days between me and the road, I'm sad and nervous. 

I've made a home here in Chicago, with incredible friends, who are more like my chosen family. An apartment that's been mine, all mine, for seven years. A job that was steady and consistent and allowed me to live a very rich life. An agent who sent me to audition for movies and TV. A theater company that frustated me, and thrilled me, and made me a better person and actor. 

I'm leaving all of these things and people behind. And, it's hard. Transition is hard. We all know that, but I just need to write it out just to remind myself that this isn't supposed to be easy. 

The next couple of days will probably be a lot like last week, but more final. More packing, but the last things. More cleaning, but the details. More goodbyes, because we can't delay it anymore. And, then my loaded-up car, a car full of gas, and highway 65. Indianapolis, Louisville, Nashville, and finally, Birmingham. 

I hope that I love this job. I hope that I'm pleasantly surprised by the early mornings and the long hours and the smell of sugar stuck to my hair. I hope that it's as fulfilling as I'd imagined it would be before I started making it real. 

If this doesn't work...

If this doesn't work...

Then, I'll figure something else out. I don't know what it is yet, but I guess I'll need to cross that bridge when I get to it, right? The comforting thing is that Chicago will always be here. It's not going to disappear into the mist when I drive away. Everything here will keep going and growing and, if I want to jump back in, I think they'll have me back to the party. 

I don't have a recipe to share right now, although I will be writing a post about Italian Tamales very soon. Yup- Mexican/Italian fusion! And, in the future, I'll not only be sharing recipes, but also talking a little bit about what it's like to move back to my hometown, live with my parents, and try a new career. 

In the meantime, I'll just be sitting here waiting for the trucks to roll up. Waiting to start something new.